If you've ever listened to classic rock radio, or you watched MTV in the late 80s, you've probably heard the song Money for Nothing by Dire Straits. It's a sweet song: it's loud, it has a sick guitar riff, the lyrics are catchy...
... the lyrics are catchy, but they're a little problematic. Confronting that fact led to this blog post, and a version of the song that I can be happy with.
If you aren't familiar with the song, you can listen to the full 8:24 version here.
For reference, here are the lyrics to the full version (minus the repetitive intro and outro):
Money for Nothing full version lyrics (content warning: homophobic slur)
[Verse 1]
Look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
[Chorus 1]
We got to install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these colour TVs
[Verse 2 (content warning: homophobic slur)]
That little faggot with the earring and the make-up
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot, he's a millionaire
[Chorus 2]
We got to install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these colour TVs
[Verse 3]
I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera, man
We could have some fun
And he's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin' on the bongoes like a chimpanzee
Oh, that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free
[Chorus 3]
We got to install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these colour TVs
That second verse is a little much. It's been a little much my whole life. As that slur becomes less and less appropriate to use, and as I become more and more aware of the effect slurs have on people, I finally decided I wanted to know why it was there, and whether I could get a version without it.
The first question I had was: why does this verse exist? Is Mark Knopfler homophobic, or is he at least acting homophobic in this song?
The answer is a little complicated. If you watch the bizarre music video, or pay very close attention to the lyrics, you might figure it out, but you can also check various interviews with Knopfler to get the details. The song is sung from the perspective of an ignorant man working in an appliance store, who sees rock stars on the TVs in the store and makes fun of them (e.g. "that ain't working", meaning "those rock stars aren't doing real work"). Many of the lyrics are approximate quotes from an actual man in an appliance store that Knopfler met. Apparently the actual man used the slur to refer to someone on MTV.
So, there is an explanation for the verse. Does that justify its inclusion? I don't really think so. The year the song came out, Knopfler was already (supposedly) replacing it in concert with the term "queenie". This seems to just be a two-syllable version of "queen", which has additional, different meanings. "Queen" can be used in a neutral or positive sense, like in "drag queen", but of course people can use it negatively, and the character in Money for Nothing is clearly being negative. So that doesn't feel right either.
I don't have any evidence that Mark Knopfler is intentionally trying to hurt anyone, with or without these lyrics. It's possible that he's changed his mind on this verse in the 37+ years since writing it. But the fact remains that this language is hurtful, and it makes me uncomfortable, and so I decided to look for alternatives.
The second question I had was: is there an edited version of this song with that verse censored or removed?
The answer is yes—this is often the version they play on the radio—but the radio version also significantly shortens the intro and the outro, so that it fits into a five-minute timeslot. Which I don't want. I love long songs in general, and I love the extended intro and outro on this song specifically. What are the available options?
There are a few different versions of the song that have been officially released:
None of these versions do what I want. The only version that removes the second verse is also the shortest version of all.
So I made my own.
Audacity is a free audio editor that I've used occasionally in the past for trimming the ends of songs. This was a more ambitious edit, though, because I wanted to remove a portion from the middle and stitch the two parts seamlessly together.
Here's a screenshot of my Audacity window, zoomed in on my digital copy of Money for Nothing.
I did a lot of staring at the waveforms, sliding the selection window around, typing in specific millisecond times, and listening to see if the cut was noticeable. After a lot of fiddling, I got a cut I'm happy with. You can see it in the screenshot, but I ended up cutting out 2:50.84 through 3:23.08, a total removed time of 32.24 seconds.
If you'd like to perform this chop on your copy of Money for Nothing, start with a selection that's 32.24 seconds long, slide it around to align it with a clear "jump" in the music as I've done, and cut it out.
If you just want my version, you can download it here. It's pretty difficult to notice the chop if you aren't listening for it, in my opinion.
I'm open to feedback on this blog post more than most, as I'm covering topics that are a little more sensitive than normal. If you have thoughts on the content or presentation of this post, please reach out—I'd love to learn about your perspective. You can email me using the address below, or if you are friends with me on another platform, don't hesitate to contact me there.